A few days ago a good friend shared a link with me about my birth cards. Imagine my surprise to find that The Tower and The Chariot are mine. Well ok, I guess it wasn’t really a surprise, I’ve been living this life for more than 55 some years…. but you know you can always hope the birth cards might show ohh the Hermit and The Star… But no… Tarot is not going to show you necessarily what you might like to believe, it just tells it like it is… So I thought I would share with you, how this year has very much been like my two birth cards.
A brief look back at 2012. I’d have to say that a big part of my year began and seemed to be what the tarot card “the tower” represents. Dramatic change would be an understatement, as the first quarter of the year saw so much turmoil and chaos. The universe works in mysterious ways and once I had made the decision that this would be the year I left the comfort of my full time corporate job that was eating at my soul while it provided a secure income, all h*ll seemed to break loose. Some very difficult confrontations at work made me decide I needed to do it now and so I handed in my two weeks’ notice months before I had originally thought I would.
I had decided I would take the time to finish my tarot deck (the artwork of which I had been working on part time over the last several years) and look at building my own business doing workshops and personal coaching. I’ve spent decades as a training and development professional in the business world helping people to discover ways to survive and excel to their own personal best. I worked in HR and while the position in itself is amazing, the politics were draining and not connected to my heart. I ached as I saw people falling through the cracks and being used as scape goats.
Ten days into my new found freedom our oldest daughter had a nervous breakdown due to a traumatic life threatening break up with her fiancé. She moved back home and the first two months were a series of hospital emergency visits, crisis intervention, doctor and therapist appointments and trying desperately to keep our heads above water. She was diagnosed bi-polar and the mania stage was intense, terrifying and exhausting.
The Chariot is the driving force that keeps me moving. It is my gift to over come obstacles and find joy and hope no matter what. Now six months later she is seeing a naturopath and is fighting the depression that also is a big part of bi-polar. In a way as I look back now it was a true blessing that I was home as there is no way my work place would have supported the time I would have needed to be home and attending all of the appointments and responding to the emergencies that needed to be dealt with. I am thankful I had some RSP money I could draw on as it has been needed to help to keep us going helping to pay the mortgage and bills that we all have.
My beloved wife’s chronic illness and pain has been particularly bad and the doctors (and trust me we’ve seen them all) have been unable to find anything that can ease the difficult time she is having. She is such an amazing woman with so much talent and love. She has been the guiding light for me and both of our daughters, particularly helping our oldest during this truly difficult time as well and helping to convince me that I could do this. That completing my tarot deck and doing what I love is important. I couldn’t do it without her and so wish I could help to ease the pain she is fighting constantly.
In July with all this still going on I was committed to curate a local digital art show which was exciting and well received. We got recognition in local papers and I did a morning interview on CBC radio. In August I had a solo art show of my artwork and The Rainbow Travellers Tarot deck. My passion for the past years became a reality and was self-published using a local Canadian printer.
I have begun sharing my deck with others and working towards finding the right way to promote it and find a way to make a living with my artwork and other skills. I’ve been at three weekend fairs/events and each time was able to make enough money to cover the costs of having a table there however not much more than that.
I ran my first workshop on Intuitive Readings and the 4 ladies that attended loved it and bought my tarot deck. Starting next Saturday I will be doing tarot readings and Reiki at a local yoga studio and I am really excited to be able to combine two things I am very passionate about. I’m also working on an eBook and on-line course. I’ve met some truly amazing people and can’t begin to express how much this has touched my heart.
I’m working at not letting fear be a part of my plans as I know it takes time to build a business and begin to make money. I just know I could never go back to what I used to do so I have to find a way to make this all work financially as well. We live a simple life which is exactly what we want, we feel so blessed to have found each other and be sharing our lives together.
In the New Year I hope to be able to do more of the things I love. I’m setting up my website so that I will be offering on-line courses as well as doing Skype readings from the sanctuary of my own home and healing room.
I want to create more artwork and connect with others helping them to believe in the power of their own inner wisdom and dreams. My biggest wish is that those who are suffering/struggling will find some ease and that no one feels like they are alone without someone to turn to.
If you’ve read this much and I haven’t lost you, thank you for being here. I find my heart family ever increasing and I feel blessed.